Im a new mom who needs psychiatric help what to do?

I've grown up with mental illness in my family. My mothers side is full of severely depressed relatives. My mom has tried to commit suicide before i was even born and her father killed himself. I have a 5 month old and I feel like Im at a crossroads. My husband and I have been fighting alot lately and I go into "rage"modes with him and jsut want to attack. He just sets me off when he calls me crazy and says certain things. i know its not healthy nor normal for me to get so upset and freak on him. Im very depressed and I need to see someone i know. I have moved to a new state where i have no family friends a job or anything sort of a life. He is from here with family friends job etc. Im scared to get help because i dont want it to be used against me in court if it where to get to that oneday. should i admit myself somewhere? What if he leaves me because he thinks im crazy? does anyone know of this happening to anywhere else or what i should do? please no judgmental comments